Learning Respect can be very hard at times

 G. Alan Bernard once said, “The respect that leadership must have requires that one’s ethics be without question.  A leader not only stays above the line between right and wrong, he stays well clear of the gray areas”.  Webster says that the definition of respect is having a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something.

Here is a story that a good friend shared with me many years ago.  A young man was getting ready to graduate from college.  For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.  As graduation day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car.  Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study.  His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him.  He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box.  Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold.  Angry, he raised his voice to his father and said "With all your money, you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business.  He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him.  He had not seen him since that graduation day.  Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son.  He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.  When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.  He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago.  With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages.  And as he did, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible.  It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired.  On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL.

Self-respect is at the heart of respecting others.  When you can identify and appreciate your strengths and accept your vulnerabilities, it's easier to truly respect the value in others.

How do you define Integrity?

How do you know if a person has integrity?  These are people who are honest, kind, fair minded, and generous.  A characteristic of a great leader is their integrity.  Maria Razumich-Zec once said, “Your reputation and integrity are everything.  Follow through on what you say you’re going to do.  Your credibility can only be built over time, and it is built from the history of your words and actions”.  Webster says that the definition of integrity is the ability to adhere to moral and ethical principles.

Integrity encompasses many qualities, and one of them is accountability or taking responsibility for one's actions.   The lack or personal accountability is a major pitfall of leadership.  A leader who does not take responsibility for their actions and decisions is bound to fail.  Without personal accountability, a person has the tendency to play the blame game.  Whatever the consequences of their decisions are, particularly their mistakes, they blame on others.  This is a manifestation of cowardice and dishonesty and very unbecoming of a leader.  A leader without courage and integrity does not gain the respect of their followers.  In such a case, leadership has lost its essence.  There is no true leadership without responsibility.

Another quality of integrity is true virtue and true virtue comes from within.  It is instilled by time, experience and understanding.  If you know virtue and you have it in you, you will know it in other people.  You can always search in Google to find the meaning and criteria of "integrity" and you will read its definition.  If you yourself are a person of integrity, or are searching for integrity in yourself, your inner knowing and your intuition will give you the understanding to know the virtue from the pretense.  Virtue as a part of our true humanity will speak to the true humanity in others.  Otherwise, if virtue has been subdued and clouded by negativity, you cannot see its light or feel its voice.  Lastly, decisions may fail, but true leadership admits that mistake and makes means to recover.  True leadership knows the humility to admit mistakes, the integrity to take responsibility and the courage to move on.  The journey in being a great leader starts with acquiring integrity first.

What is Excellence?

Have you ever thought about what your life would be like if you pursued excellence every day? If you woke up every morning knowing that you were 100-percent, all-out committed to being the best in all aspects of your life? I'm not talking about giving something your best effort or even your personal best. I'm talking about being the best, selling out to that completely and not settling for  anything less. For this you need to have a fire inside you to be the best and get up every day willing to do what it takes to reach your goal. This is an invitation to find your voice and leave a mark in the world; an invitation to surpass the average and aim for higher levels of excellence; an invitation to tap into your talents more deeply than before and turn yourself into a radiating powerhouse. It is time to live your purpose in life and share your unique, beautiful gifts with all other beings. To have the resolve to have excellence, you have to want it and need to have the zeal to make this change in your life. Achieving Excellence is not an easy journey, in fact it is a journey filled with many barriers and obstacles.

In essence, excellence is becoming the center of your own universe, and from that grounded, centered position, shining your light into the world by using your unique talents. You will need to identify your values and learn how to make the right choices in your life. You will need to know what truly matters to you and focus your energy on what you value most in life. Living a life of excellence takes effort, but at the same time is rewarding and gives you energy so that you can keep up your work. Some people are content to make a nice living, spend time with their families, do good work for others and live quietly. But if you want to live life out loud and commit yourself to have excellence in every way that takes the ultimate in personal dedication, sacrifice and self-examination. I would like to invite you to excel in those fields where you really can make a difference, so that when you move on, you shall have left behind a better world for those who follow.